a girl and her boy

. daily life : wool obsession : bibliomania : living on purpose .

I am the luckiest.

As Ben Folds puts it, I’m the luckiest.

On my way home from tutoring last night, I called AT because I knew he’d probably be free, and would appreciate the story I had to share regarding a conversation I had with my student’s father after the session ended (short story there:  Me:  “This tool saves trees!”  Father:  “I don’t care about the trees, they’re a crop to make money off of,” and, “It must rankle you that global warming was disproved, huh.” *growl*) and we ended up on the phone for close to an hour. We talked just like we did before the separation, except we’re not “together” anymore. It was awesome.

It took a while for our communication to become free and easy after the separation, mostly because we feared hurting each other with news of our growth and adventures. We both moved on quickly, and began dating other people within a few months. Neither of us said anything about dating other people for a while because, well, we felt guilty about it. (Shouldn’t we? I mean, we were together for 6 years. Wouldn’t moving on quickly seem to say that it meant nothing?)

We both realized that though our relationship was *good*, and we were both content and committed, we weren’t as happy as we could be. And the love we gave each other was the most either of us had ever received from anyone before in our lives. When I woke up one morning last winter and realized that I needed something more and that I needed to move on, I thought I was being self-destructive “throwing away” the best thing I’ve ever had.

After our time apart, and growing as individuals, and dating others, we realized that we are both incredibly happy with our new lives. I am with a man that makes me incredibly happy. I feel fulfilled and enthusiastic about life. And AT found someone who makes him feel the same way. And we are still friends; not just friends, but best friends.

How many people can say that their ex-spouse is still one of their best friends?

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2 responses to “I am the luckiest.

  1. Michelle Glauser December 2, 2009 at 11:41 am

    I love that song and just listened to it with a special boy this morning. I’m glad you’re doing well. I hope it just keeps getting better and better for you.

  2. Black Sheep December 2, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    Thanks, Michelle. 🙂

    It’s nice to have good things to report after feeling like everything was falling apart since, well, 10 months ago.

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