January 18, 2008
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There’s nothing like a good conversation, Van Gogh Dutch Chocolate Vodka on the rocks, and then a good nights sleep when stressed. Allan was unavailable for most of the evening as he had Grad Crit and then dinner with the crew so I was feeling lonely on top of all the maladies I have already described. Fortunately, an old friend was online so I sent him a message. We ended up talking online for nearly two hours, more than our conversations usually run. Before I met Allan, he and I had seen each other casually but he and I were in odd spaces at the time and so we agreed that we were just going to have fun. I admitted, with a loosened tongue, that I had often thought of hooking up with him pre-Allan. He was surprised. We talked about it for a few minutes and he admitted that he’d thought of it, too. I’m supremely happy with my current situation, but I’m idly curious where things would be in another plane of life had things been different.
Thoughts like that always end up leading to nowhere, especially when content with the present. But it is fun to ruminate on the past and create alternate realities. It’s a skill I used to have honed to a fine edge, but lost as I became more content with my relationship with Allan. I realized that if I wanted to redefine my writing form, I’d have to start practicing reshaping the past again.
Also, if you’ve never had it before, try Van Gogh Dutch Chocolate Vodka. It is simply amazing. You get the smooth sharpness of a good vodka with a beautiful chocolate aftertaste that is rich and earthy like the best of dark chocolate. That is my drink of choice.