Bog of Eternal Stench
August 28, 2007
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Anyone who knew me growing up, knows that I’m a klutz. I still am. And to prove it, allow me to unfold the following story that took place last night.
I was having a rough day and was feeling emotionally unbalanced, so my darling Allan fetched me a tall glass of Chocolate Malt Ovaltine, knowing that it would satisfy my dairy and chocolate cravings. I was working on winding a new skein of wool into a ball, having the hank resting on the kitchen chair I use at my desk. I moved in a circular motion around the chair, and wound up the wool as I disentangled it from the hank. I had set the glass of Ovaltine on the bookshelf next to my desk, not placing it on my desk because I knew there was a high risk of knocking it down there, and onto my expensive and new laptop. There was little to no chance of knocking it down at shoulder height on the bookshelf.
I took two sips of the Ovaltine and put it back on the shelf. I continued to orbit around the chair with my shoulders, winding as I went. Coming across a large tangle, I stretched out my arm, and knocked over the glass. It fell facing my new acquisitions and library books, which just happened to be resting on the very same shelf. With a few choice expletives, I hollered, and asked Allan for help. With the speed of Superman, he came to my aid with his grey hoodie and began sopping up the mess while I ran for back up: towels. Frantically, we removed books and wiped as fast as we could. There was no saving some of the books, they were goners. Luckily the library books and new acquisitions were safe. The only books that were ruined were the tattered and age-stained ones I picked up from the book table at Hannaford.
After the emergency was taken care of, we tossed the towels in a heap in the kitchen and settled into other evening activities to lessen the stress of the evening. Forgetting the towels, we went to bed.
Oh did we remember the towels when we woke up. They reeked with the power of the Bog of Eternal Stench. We rushed them down to the laundromat and washed them with extra detergent and baking soda. After the first load, they still smelled of sour chocolate milk and we washed them a second time. Fortunately, this saved them and they can be returned to use.